A deux ans de sa coupe du monde à domicile, la Russie s’est ridiculisée aux yeux de l’Europe en ne gagnant aucun match et en perdant 3-0 face au Pays de Galles ; des résultats décevants qui devraient envoyer la sélection russe en prison, au goulag sous l’ordre du président Vladimir Poutine !

Personne ne s’attendait à voir la Russie sortir si tôt dans la compétition ; et surtout pas Vladimir Poutine occupait en ce moment avec les hooligans russes, la future suspension de la Russie aux Jeux Olympiques de Rio de cet été.

Cependant le président Poutine veut vraiment se venger de la honte que sa sélection lui a donné, en ne remportant aucun match à l’euro 2016. Le président de la Russie, réputé pour son autorité et sa passion pour le sport, n’aurait donc aucun scrupule à envoyer toute l’équipe et le staff russe au goulag, prison en Russie.

L’entraîneur national, Leonid Sloutski qui se sait menacé, a tenu à exprimer ses craintes à nos micros au sujet de son probable départ en prison.

« Je tiens à m’excuser auprès de tous les russes et surtout à Vladimir Poutine. Après deux défaites d’affilée dont une humiliation par les Gallois, j’ai peur pour ma vie. La prison en Russie, les conditions de vie des prisons russes sont avérés. Là-bas on n’y mange que du pain rassis et les détenus sont extrêmement violents. Si je vais au goulag sur ordre du président ; je ne pense pas ressortir avant que la Russie gagne la coupe du monde, donc pas avant longtemps… »

La démission de l’entraîneur de la Russie au sein de la sélection, était une manière de calmer les ardeurs de Poutine selon Leonid Sloutski.

« A 2-0 face aux Gallois, j’ai su que je devais tout de suite démissionner pour ne pas énervé le président. Le retour au pays va être très difficile pour moi. Les Russes vont vouloir me faire la même chose que les Brésiliens ont fait à Scolari après le 7-1 en 2014. Je suis un homme mort ! »

Avant de rajouter que Poutine l’avait appelé au téléphone suite à la défaite face au Pays de Galles et que le sélectionneur russe actuel, mais aussi du CSKA Moscou, prévoyait de quitter la Russie.

« Poutine m’a appelé. Il veut me mettre en prison ! Je dois donc surement partir à l’étranger pour échapper à cette peine ! »

Dommage pour le sélectionneur de la Russie, mais mieux vaut gagner quand son président s’appelle Vladimir Poutine.

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21 Réponses

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