A moins de trois semaines de l’ouverture des 28emes Jeux Olympiques à Rio, la situation de la Russie demeure totalement floue.

Accusé par l’Agence Mondiale Anti-dopage de dopage organisé, l’organisme a recommandé au Comité International Olympique (CIO) d’exclure purement et simplement tous les athlètes russes de la prochaine olympiade.

Décision qui n’a toujours pas ete acte par le président du CIO, Thomas Bach qui aurait selon nos confrères russes de Bloundchogrotchouch fait l’objet d’une tentative de chantage sexuel pour intégrer la Russie aux prochains J.O.

En voici les moments forts de ces écoutes téléphoniques rapportés par ce média pro-Poutine (c’est vrai qu’il n’y aucun média russe anti-Poutine) :

Salut Thomas c’est moi Erika ! Tu dois sûrement te rappeler de moi, c’est moi qui était la responsable des vestiaires lors du dernier congrès du C.I.O à Zurich. Nous avions passe un bon petit moment derrière

Désolé Erika, je n’ai pas eu le temps de te recontacter avec tous les problèmes que j’ai actuellement en quoi puis-je t’aider.

Voilà Thomas, j’ai appris récemment dans la presse que tu serais prêt à exclure tous les athlètes russes des prochain Jeux Olympiques à Rio. Tu ne peux pas faire ca chéri

Et pourquoi donc Erika

C’est très simple. Mon petit ami Igor Petrov est sélectionné par la Russie en haltérophilie et les Jeux c’est toute sa vie. Je suis prete à tout pour réaliser son rêve.

Ah bon tu deviens intéressante, que me proposes-tu ?

Voilà la dernière fois, je t’ai fait vivre un moment magique lors de ton congrès et je pourrais rendre notre prochain rendez-vous encore plus excitant.

Pour payer la fin de mes études, je bosse dans une boîte d’escorts et mes camarades sont de véritables patriotes. Elles sont prêtes à te faire vivre la plus belle nuit de ta vie.

Tu commences à m’intéresser, mais tu es consciente que je suis le président du C.I.O, un des organes les plus connus et réputés au monde, je risque ma carrière sur ce coup !

Mais mon petit Thomas prends exemple de ton ami Sepp Blatter, pendant des décennies il a réussi à rouler tout le monde dans la farine, une petite nuit pour réintégrer un des plus grands pays monde, cest de la nionotte pour toi.

Vous êtes vraiment fortes les petites russes pour me faire vibrer, si je pouvais j’integrerai le chantage sexuel au programme olympique et je vous donnerai la médaille d’or de mes propres mains.

Hmmm tu pourrais nous la mettte ailleurs on serait partante.

Bon venez à mon bureau je vous attends !

Nous serons si cette bande d’escorts russes a été convaincante dans les prochains jours !

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