Auteur de grosses performances à l’Euro 2016, Sissoko devait s’envoler vers d’autres horizons et rejoindre un gros club pour partir de Newcastle, relégué en D2 anglaise ; mais que nenni, l’international français est toujours en Angleterre, et pour aller à Tottenham, Moussa Sissoko a fait appel à Pôle emploi !

Courtisé par des équipes anglaises de milieu de tableau (Everton et Crystal Palace), l’ancien toulousain souhaite rejoindre l’Espagne, et le Real Madrid :

« J’espère que le Real va venir me chercher, j’attends toujours »

Pour être recruté par le plus grand club du XXème siècle, Sissoko a demandé l’aide de Pôle emploi pour peaufiner son CV et mettre toutes les chances lors de sa probable rencontre avec son peut-être futur-ex président, Florentino Pérez.

Son conseiller Pôle emploi, dont l’identité a été cachée pour lui éviter un bad buzz, a raconté à nos journalistes son premier entretien, avec la presque star Moussa Sissoko :

« Avec Moussa, le feeling est tout de suite bien passé comme sur le côté droit de l’Équipe de France avec Sagna. Je suis là pour l’aider à trouver un gros club, oubliez Newcastle, Everton, Inter Milan. En tant que prospecteur d’emplois, je recherche un métier, une entreprise dans lesquels les demandeurs pourront s’épanouir. Donc avec mes qualités de conseiller Pôle emploi, toutes les plus grandes équipes tels que le Barça, Bayern, Real vont se ruer à la porte de M. Sissoko ! »

Le conseiller Pôle emploi s’est aussi confié à nos micros sur la constitution du CV du finaliste du dernier championnat d’Europe :

« Pour réaliser le curriculum vitae, je dois avouer qu’on a un peu triché (comme dans tous les CV) car dans les qualités de Sissoko, nous avons inscrits : athlétique, 5 étoiles de gestes techniques à la FIFA, bon marché, polyvalent car peu jouer sur le banc. »

Après quelques jours de prospection des équipes voulant recruter Sissoko, son conseiller a admis à nos journalistes avoir reçu quelques offres de « gros clubs » selon ses dires.

« Pour Moussa, il y a trois clubs qui sont vraiment très intéressés dont deux chinois : Guangzhou Evergrande et Dalian Shide, qui offriraient un pont d’or à Sissoko avec un salaire de 10 millions par an, et le FC Grenoble qui propose comme salaire au milieu français, un forfait annuel pour les stations de ski des Alpes, une Fiat Panda comme voiture de fonction et une chèvre s’appelant Cavanos ! »

Sissoko est obligé d’opter entre ses trois équipes,  sinon il pourrait se faire rayer de Pôle emploi suite à ces refus. Malgré ces offres alléchantes, Sissoko a reçu une proposition de transfert de la part de Tottenham qu’il a accepté !

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