C’est un nouveau coup dur pour Yoann Gourcuff. Laissé tranquille par les blessures durant quelques mois, le joueur le plus fragile de France a rechuté la faute à une fracture d’anus du à un pet foireux et sera absent 5 mois !

Christian Gourcuff venait à peine de retrouver son fils prodige à Rennes que ce dernier s’est malencontreusement fracturé l’anus ; une blessure provoquée après un gros pet du à une galette-saucisse du Roahzon Park (stade de Rennes). Yoann Gourcuff devra soit se faire plâtrer le cul ou avoir une prothèse, comme l’a pu le confirmer le docteur Mabhoule.

« Je n’ai jamais vu une aussi grosse fracture de toute ma carrière, même les actrices de cul n’ont pas un anus autant brisé et dilaté que celui de M. Gourcuff. La première fois que j’ai aperçu ça, c’était pour Clara Morgane, mais je suis très étonné qu’après une telle fracture et un pet aussi violent que Fukushima ! »

L’ancien futur Zidane a révélé les causes de son terrible et gênant accident :

« Après mon gros match face à Caen, on m’a offert une galette-saucisse, une andouille de Guémené ainsi qu’un far breton. Alors déjà que mon corps est assez fragile, mon ventre et surtout mon anus ont craqué devant tant de produits explosifs ! »

Le calvaire continue pour Yoann Gourcuff…
À dans 5 mois pour une nouvelle blessure de l’homme au plus grand nombre de blessures !

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